Use 20: Turkey Dressing

Also on July 4, we found ourselves in Pulaski, Tennessee, home of the Ku Klux Klan and, as best we could tell, little else. The city had tried, nevertheless, to festive things up a bit, and around town there were these:

Oversized decorated turkeys.

My guess is this one was to represent the topographical glory that is Pulaski, Giles County, Tennessee.

But we had to find a more festive one for Dead Brother to adorn.

So here is a magnolia-blossom adorned turkey, with Dead Brother atop. Or as the spouse put it, "Turkey Dressing."

Another view, just for fun.

Use 19: Car Model

Over the 4th of July weekend, the spouse, the child and I took a road trip through Tennessee, Mississippi, and Alabama in search of barbecue and tackiness. We were more successful on the tacky than the barbecue.

In Winchester, Tennessee, we discovered the Hero Gear store: http://www.hero-gear.com/. A taste from their website:

"Hero-Gear is located in beautiful Southern-Middle Tennessee.
"We are a full line dealer for the very finest tactical and defensive firearms available today. We specialize in high end/high quality 1911s, AR15/M4 platform rifles, Sniper rifles, AK and SKS rifles, Duty approved firearms from Smith and Wesson, Glock, Springfield Armory, Sig Sauer, Heckler and Koch, and many more!"

I'll just let y'all check out the rest of their website so you can get the full joy of their establishment.

Outside, they had the official Hero Gear Mobile, and the Dead Brother simply had to check it out:


Here we find Dead Brother in the archetypical laid-out-across-the-hood model pose. Admittedly, I was a little disappointed by his choice of so hackneyed a look, but hey, it was his photo shoot, so who am I to complain?









We were about to be on our way when we noticed the rules posted on the front door, which were just too tasty not to share:


"All loaded firearms must remain holstered at all times.

"All other firearms should be locked open & clear.
"No unaccompanied children."

Which of course makes one wonder: was there a problem with patrons bringing in loaded weapons and just swinging them around randomly?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a huge supporter of the Second Amendment. And I can see a certain logic into taking your old gun to the store with you when you want to buy a new one -- I mean, I've taken skirts with me to get shirts that match. But a *loaded* gun? When you're *not* planning on robbing the place? What's that for?

Use 18: Stolen Goods

Yeah, yeah I know, it's been over a month. But my life hasn't slowed down any, and I haven't had time -- or artistic inspiration -- to update lately. Then I saw this story today.

The ashes of six year old boy who died from cancer 8 months ago were stolen from his parents' car:

http://www.kens5.com/news/Exclusive-Thieves-steal-the-unthinkable-Childs-ashes-stolen-from-familys-car--97446719.html

"Eleven months ago, the family decided to cremate Tony 'Tigger' Rodriguez's body after the six-year-old died of cancer. They never thought they'd lose him again. But car burglars broke into the family's truck outside a La Quinta Inn on I-35 near Schertz. They stole a suitcase that carried Tony's ashes."

Imagine the robbers' surprise when they open that suitcase. Or when they die and wake up in HELL.

Hopefully, they won't make the same mistake theives made in the United Kingdom and snort the ashes, thinkng it is actually cocaine: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/cannibal/cocaine.asp

One might ask why the parents packed their son in a suitcase to take him on vacation with them. I usually put the DB in the passenger seat. Another question might be why did they leave their son in his suitcase in the car when they checked into the hotel. But really, none of these things matter in the long run, and with all sincerity, I do hope they find the ashes and return them to his folks.

ON A MUCH LESS DEPRESSING NOTE, we plan on taking the DB on a road trip for the weekend. And I got a Flip. So hopefully we'll be posting some fun video in the near future.